Ive beeb so go for so long now im suck here
Im back where I dont want to be
I know you don’t even want me
Because do you see my heart
Its not a part
The part you speak of is gone
Because im done .
Today’s topic suicide.
I know suicide is a ”touchy” subject, it’s more common then you think last time i was told how many teens in Australia alone that have commit suicide i was shocked, i was even shocked (this is coming from me), when i was told 1 or 2 in every teens have questioned and/or even attempted suicide.What shocked me was i was sitting next to my best friend,we were two of five teens chosen to show this ratio. The speaker wouldn’t of even known that my friend and i where the 2 out of the 5. We just looked at each other and laughed because we knew it was true(inside joke).like many people we were told the tale ”sticks and stones may break my bones,but words will never hurt me.”,my study of society and environment class from last year came up with a lot some funny and some ”more accurate ones”.Sticks and stones may break my bones,but words wont hurt me til some throws a !@#$ dictionary!”. when your bullied all the names you get call grows and just at some stage it feels like some one is throwing a dictionary at you. Yes, ive had a dictionary thrown at me. But one thing i wish they taught my grade 7 class was what bullying etc can lead to suicide.The word ”suicide” was not mention by a teacher in 7 years right even thought there was hundreds of bullying/internet safety presentations,which all had a happy ending.
Me being someone of many that i know or have meet that has stood in those shows on the border line of life and death more times then less. i get that suicide always seems like the right answer. Before i say any more ,there is always some one to talk to at school,friends,youth leaders.pastors,kids helpline(especially phone and web),eheadspace(online) and me of course. Suicide was always my answer to my problems in my life. I had been on this border between life and death about 6 times before i relised that wasn’t the only answer.Yes, i was lucky to have at least one good friend that helped me when o was suicidal,but 2 sites become more and more familiar to me the more times i questioned suicide. They are some of the most often talked about kids helpline web(because i can speak on phones) and eheadspace. I’m one of the lucky ones that got stopped before any real damage was done even to this day im glad i didn’t attempt suicide each and every time i was suicidial. Back in 8th grade i wouldn’t of seen my self making it to 10th grade.yes,it was on my bucket list.
I know losing someone to suicide can hurt more then the person committing suicide. I always believed that committing suicide meant that they are committing to the decision to stop the pain and situations. I’ve lost one of my internet friends from tumblr Lizzy to suicide in roughly September 2012,3 days before here 16 or 17 birthday.I know there are so many cliche says and quotes that people say to the suicidal. But it’s true it does get better it may take a while, im not going to lie it’s going to be hard. A part pf recovery is that there are going to be hills,bumps and ditches in recovery. These even bumps and ditch in gods plan for you.
Know so many friends that have been saved from suicide by there youth group/s and especially god.At first i was surprised but when your in their shoes it makes sense and its understandable why they turn to their peers,friends and god.
Ive always been that person that is seen as shy(if you know me that’s not true), that sits back and watches everyone during breaks and even class.Yes, i see mistakes people and groups make. Even when people should know better even for teenagers. I remember sitting in the back row of one of my classes back in 8th grade, watching this group of girls picking on a girl just a year older then me.She was in the same situation i was in.She was new,scared and anxious, i remember watching the and hearing the things people say its different when you here it on someone else.Yes, i was a bystander because i was to scared to speak up. I was worried they would turn on me yes that’s the most common thing said by bystanders.But i went and tried to talk to her at break,two days later she was my best friend and still si to this day. She even question suicide like many of us. we learnt that no matter how many creeps and bullies at my old school,we are still more powerful in this smaller school.
Talking to someone even smiling can make their day. when i was suicidal,some one smiling at me made ny day and got me thought thr day.Yes, you probably will never know their situation but im sure if try to talk to them and simile you might just become their friend. which they probably really need right now.
It’s surprising how badly teenagers treat each other. if you ever just choose to sit back and watch others you might notice to. i did this because i had social anxiety and i was even shy around my friends. you notice so many things,like how each grade works and as far as how each group treats Christians for example. I still don’t know why people think race/culture and religion are reasons to bully others. Bullying is one of the 10 major causes for suicide in Australia. But everyone always see’s that’s the crowdly reason. even though it’s the most common amougst teens these days.
Three songs and a spoken poem that i believe everyone should listen to .
How to save a life- The Fray
Close to the edge-cameron brown(youtube)
why- rascal flats(he speak alot more about god as well in his music)
spoken poem-to this day.
Today’s bible verse.
Ecclesiastes 7:17 - Be not over much wicked, neither be thou foolish: why shouldest thou die before thy time?
- painted rainbows
There is one thing i learnt last night and this morning that i wish i had learnt earlier in my life. Like Sabrina said on united winter camp 14 ‘you don’t need to go around kissing all the boys.’. I’m not saying that i go around kissing all the boys but ive dated guys before that i wish i didn’t, before camp i would of never asked my self two of the most important questions of any relationship.One: Do i see my self marrying him or her,Two: Did i pray about this relationship or any problems in the relationship?.There has been times when i wish i knew these questions existed.Most people date to just say they dated someone or to have someone by there side in a hard time.I never knew why i dated guys, yeah i liked them but come on all of them but one i didn’t see my self marrying, mainly because i was in the 8th and 9th grade. Most of them now as i think back i don’t think god would want me to be with them even the one i wanted to marry, he was sinner i would be consider a sinner for being around him. When i was around him i considered giving in to peer pressure and the expectations of a 15 year old girl.When i relised that he was ‘Bad news’ for me i left him .Yes he was christian but sins and the bible and all that didn’t bother him,but it bothered me.me. Im glad now as i look back that i didn’t give in to this per pressure did i really wanna have sex with this guy, did i wanna be know as the girl who was with that guy.No of course not.
I left my last and only boyfriend for a while on camp after asking for advice from some of my closet youth friends.I did the most chicken way via letter , I tried to sound sad and dramatic because yes that’s how i felt well at least that’s how i felt in my head.But now only two weeks later i would probably not write that letter and instead i would of talked to him. Now as the weeks following from camp i question my choice as all of my closet school friends think im crazy for this choice.They ask why did i ruin a perfect relationship with a one of a kind guy who was perfect for me? Why did you leave him you know you hurt him deeply?.Most people asked why i left him,that’s not an easy question. like usual i come up with fifteenth reasons why, when really it’s ,more like three or forth reasons.Some of which includes things like there is so much going on right now in my life that i just new to start fresh and that includes leaving you,I’m just to scared and chicken to go near you or your friends any more im sorry and im sorry this is me and i cant change the way i feel.
Well one thing ive learnt on camp and after camp was that god can speak to you and say stuff in your time of need, i knew this already from around about 6th or 7th grade but I guess i had lost my fait hand only recently had regained it.Yes,mind me i would believe anything these days. But it is really true god spoke to me saying that this isn’t really good for you and that i can see you guys having lots of drama and problems in the future. So i got out why i can especially after my old relationships.One thing i wish i knew back in 8th grade was i should only date a guy i can see my self with,as it is more special.But i am happy to say that i am saving my self for marriage. Guys can wait.
Favorite verse about peer pressure
“You shall not follow the masses in doing evil, nor shall you testify in a dispute so as to turn aside after a multitude in order to pervert justice;
Especially 16 things i would tell my 16 year old self ,which six of she spoke about on winter camp
I thought you would be interested in knowing youth alive 14 ” united we stand”is coming up Friday at metro .This year we are happy to say its in toowoomba.
Youth alive is this giant night basically a party for teens ,its a day even so no drugs or anything of that matter allowed its safe.there is a moss pit ,there’s heaps of music including some local bands some of you might know,heaps of teens from across the darling downs.Even the building is fantastic there is a led wall the seats are just like the cinmeras. Plus the building is pretty much a giant bubble.
I would love to see you there and would love to introduce you some awesome people .there is going to be some great music and so many great people and activities. Hope to see you there just message me or come talk to me in the next few days if you want to know more.
Cost: gold coin if you can give that it goes to world vision
Location: metro 258 Spring street, across from the toowoomba outreach collage.The main building is the venue which is the giant bubble building located near the entrance.
Time: pre event competitions will be on at 6 pm . Doors open at 630 for i believe a 7 pm start. and finish roughly around 9 or 930pm